Flirt with Flair – How the pros do it online
Pick-up without ever leaving the comfort of your bed
The most memorable pick-up to happen to me was sweet, respectful… and I never saw it coming. It happened at a local bar, while I was standing near the dance floor as my friends were dancing. I was approached by a guy (let’s call him Frank) who started chatting with me – no stupid pick up lines, no cheesy come ons – and asked questions that were meant to draw answers he could listen to and build on. After talking for 15 minutes, he left off by saying “You’re here with your friends, I’ll let you get back to them.” And with that, I never saw him again.
There’s a lot you can pull from this experience that will help you with your online flirting skills – if you know where to look! From the all-important introduction to beyond, I’m going to let you in on a few secrets that women wished that you knew. Let’s go over them:
Show a little originality
Before that particular experience, most guys’ flirting attempts were predictable – been there, heard that. Instead of sending a flirt (since they are free, members can receive hundreds a day), send a thoughtful note. I’m not talking about a form letter you sent to 20 other members that day – read their profile, pick out something original and write an email addressing that point. It doesn’t have to be about their looks – everyone will have tried that with them. Take something unique from their profile and start a conversation about it (ie. I am really impressed that you like to go to strip clubs – it takes a confident woman to say that turns them on).
R-E-S-P-E-C-T – not just a catchy tune
Just because she’s on an adult dating site doesn’t mean she’ll jump your bones the minute you show her your peen. Before you hit send, ask yourself: How would this fly in real life? If you went up to a woman at a bar and said “Let’s fuck baby,” chances are you’ll be walking out of there funny and explaining why to others at least an octave higher. Same goes online – when trying to start up a conversation in IM or video, begin with the basics, ask if they would like to chat and tell them why you’d like to chat with them.
Everyone loves a compliment
By simply contacting or responding to someone with a thoughtful chat or email, you are paying that person a great compliment. I was flattered when Frank came over to talk to me about me. It felt like out of everyone in that bar, he picked me as the person he most wanted to talk with. You can bet that woman you’ve got your eye on has received a lot of compliments on this site, but don’t let that discourage you. When others are telling her that she has great tits, you can take the road less travelled and pay her a sincere compliment, such as “I love your style – I wish I had someone with your taste dressing me!”
The art of seduction
Any professional flirter knows that seduction takes time and effort. Frank didn’t rush the conversation to get what he wanted; he took the time to ask the right questions. After making an initial connection, the goal is to build it to something that satisfies the both of you. It’s important to know where the boundaries lay before you get too personal.
It’s also important to be sexy without turning someone off. If in doubt, ask – use open ended questions along the lines of “How do you feel about…” or “What do you like best about…” Let them lead the conversation with their answers, and all you have to do is follow. It’s not a race, so take it slow – besides, you can truly savor the thrill of the chase when you take your time.
Honesty truly is the best policy
Be upfront and honest about who you are and what you are looking for, that way neither of you will be wasting the others time. Don’t blurt out what your requirements are right off the bat. Build a base, then take the plunge and tell them that you’re looking for NSA online fun or a long-term fling. They will appreciate that you are being respectful and are more likely to open up about their wants and desires.
Looks may be the initial factor that sparks chemistry, but it’s the interaction that follows that makes it worth pursuing. At first glance, Frank wasn’t at all my type, but by taking a chance, he soon became more attractive to me. You’ll win some and you’ll lose some, but always remember that even though things don’t always work out the way we wanted, doesn’t mean we can’t benefit from the experience or from a great friendship. And, it’s quite common for a cyber-friendship to turn into a passionate affair.
Flirting is an art that anyone can master, and that’s what Frank was doing – practice makes perfect. Oh, and if you were wondering, although I never saw him again, if he had come up to me later on that night to resume our acquaintance, I totally would have given him my number.
Flirt by Listening and responding to what the woman is saying. Brandi Seduction
“hey baby wanna fuck?” doesn’t work? really? lol
Great insight! I think alot of people assume that on adult dating sites you can be rude and still be successful – thinking “would this fly in real life?” is a good thing to think before you press send on any message
it’s all about the money fucking chick if u want proof
Donald trump prove that shit
i don’t know about some guys problem about hating chicks because they’ll do that to your money and shit like that . I guess u just don’t know how to use the money to get some piece of ass.
again Donald Trump prove that shit again.
YEAH YEAH that’s what i called hot young chick for u guys.
i wud love 2 b wit u most of d time coz im reallylookin 4 who 2 hook up wit
i saw some pics of ginger
she is very beatiful
her body structure is ia athlete
i wanna talk to u
this is somethin that i never id before and i amasing
I have compiled a list of about 30 women in the local area that interest me and I have sent and resent about 200+ emails kissing their butts, being polite, honest and a good guy but do you know how many of those actually responded? I received about 3 responses of “When are you online so that we could hook up?” to which I responded and NEVER heard back again from ANY of them…I wasn’t asking for them to rob a bank but just simply asking to chat online…this is bogus
yeah i just want to touch by screen u want
Dan,
I don’t know what your emails said to them, but 3 out of 30 responses, at least some kind of response, is really pretty good. You have to remember that these women are just like you and have their choice of tons of men, so you have to ask yourself how good were your emails to them? What was the subject line of your emails? Or the actual content of your emails? Was it original, would it grab their attention. My guess it was the same as the hundreds of other emails they get from men on the site. So you need to make yourself standout – be funny, be witty, and keep trying.
Amy The Editor.
yeaa
“Hey baby, wanna fuck?” Rofl. I love that one. It shows that I am a sensitive guy and that I care about what you think and your feelings. I’m not changing for anyone. Roflmao.
Well the reason alot of us are on here cuase in real life we don’t do well either. So I’m on here trying to do something different than real life and in real life I am polite nice and considerate, which i also have done the same on this site and i don’t get any responses. got to be doing something wrong just dont know what it is. starting to think nice guys really do finish last.
Your “job” as a flirt (searching for an online chat, sexual partner, and even your spouse) is to respect them. That means listening to their feelings, what they have to say and then responding empathetically. Also, avoid yes or no questions. Ask open ended questions and again, listen to the response.
Easy for me to say, much harder to do.
I remain, yours truly,
gonenuckingfutz
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii sweeety
Sage advice.
they have a point, i’m more likely to talk to someone if they’re nice about it rather than the ‘let’s fuck’ approach cus that just gets me thinking shit i’m just another notch on the bedpost then? I dont mind that being true i just don’t like it shoved in my face.
If the English language has any influence (and it does) you must learn to spell. The first thing a lady will see is the words you type. This is your first impression to them so don’t mess it up with dats instead of thats. Be a gentleman, or at the least, be polite. I already found my little woman at 4′ 11″ 115 lbs green eyes. To put it bluntly, simply gorgeous! I never used the word pussy, fuck, sex, slut, etc. etc..I am 9 years older so this was a great obstacle for me as I am not great looking, my job sucks, I could lose 10 pounds, and quite frankly I don’t have a hell of alot going for me except that I know who I am and I know what they want. Good Luck fellas.